Most women don’t know they have a problem.
After working for years to help enrich sex lives it has become apparent that most women think it is normal to have a decreasing interest and drop in sexual pleasure. Most women think it is normal to have to complain of headaches or mention their severe fatigue in hopes to deflect their husband’s sexual advances.
Now I do believe women still desire to be attractive and to be pursued even ravished. Indeed that would be highly desired by most if not all. What I am hearing though all too often is that even if their husband swept, mopped, loaded the dishwasher and cooked Italian she still may have too little interest to get excited, aroused or in anyway turned on.
What follows is frequent frustration, exasperation and ultimately loss of intimacy. At this point the marriage develops some foundational problems that puts it on thinner ice. With a divorce rate of 50% in the US no one wants to be in that situation.
The problem that exists in this completely unwanted situation is what’s called Female Arousal Disorder. What it means is that it is very difficult to be turned on and it can be very distressing for both men and women. The reason women think it is normal is that so many of their friends have it as well. Statistics show that 60% of women do not even have orgasms! Some of those never have but most have just lost the ability or desire.
This is where it starts affecting health. Studies show that the frequency of orgasms has shown benefits in depression, insomnia, fatigue, headaches, and even anxiety. Our culture seems to be full of these very problems. I can see every one of those problems in a single day in the office. The part that deep down saddens women is that some of their friends do not seem to have the problem at all! Some have very active and even enviable sex lives. I wrote this for the women who retain hope that they may not remain completely broken. Perhaps something can fix them.
First of all try some of the following.
Some of the things at play can be life’s stressors. Doesn’t everyone have better libido when on vacation (unless it too is too stressful)? Frequently it is a lack of quality sleep. Avoid screen time 2 hours before bed as none of these help you relax enough to help in the bedroom. Try to get 8 hours sleep and try to wake up without an alarm clock. The last hour of sleep is very important to how our day goes. Go on a walk with your spouse.
The downtime does a body good and the conversation can start rekindling. Take a look at your medicine list. So often I find that antidepressants, blood pressure medicines, or birth control pills preceded the low desire. I have seen patients where an antidepressant completely killed the ability to ever orgasm again, even when the patient is feeling better from the depression standpoint.
I highly recommend discussing medications with your physician. There may be options in your case and perhaps it is time to get off them or change to Welbutrin or even try the new drug Addyii. Remember the part about orgasms helping depression? This could be a great time to try to aim for several orgasms a week.
Take your time, be deliberate and slow. A goal is actually not the orgasms but the focus on pleasure, taking time on what feels right to you. If he involved make him slow down, almost every spouse will want to help. The natural hormones and neurotransmitters that are released will often be a true change for a patient’s well being. I have seen the change be dramatic. I have seen the change completely turn around a woman psyche, interactions, and most of all intimacy with her husband.
Sex at any Age!
Even an elderly person with multiple medical problems desires an active sex life as presented at the International Society for the Studies of Women Sexual Health (ISSWSH). It was interesting to see in the study because we see that clinically. I once had a 99-year-old man asked about Viagra! That was years ago and I remember being shocked. Really today I wouldn’t be shocked at all.
No matter your age sex can and should be a big part of your life. Don’t suffer from the normalized low sex drive problem. This is a relatively easy problem to fix. Talk with your physician have and have them draw labs and look at your pills.
If they still can’t help see a doctor that does functional, integrated or anti-aging medicine in your area- they live to help you. If you have tried many of these things you should know that doctors that specialize in pelvic health care such as at our center have game changing procedures that will completely change your situation!
Treatment Options – O-Shot, DiVa and Bioidentical Hormones
O shots, DiVa vaginal lasers and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy (BHRT) have some very significant pleasure enhancing effects for any women eating this. No one is beyond help. It gives me great joy to help almost hopeless women to bring them to a point where their husband is the one with the lower sex drive.
Restoring relationships and building intimacy is the reason I invested in these services we offer. Please don’t leave your relationship on blocks and seek a solution today. We promise you will be thrilled. Restoring your passion will be a lot easier than you think. If we can help just call our office and talk with us (334) 454-4448.